Ek Din Santa Subh-Subh Rote Hoye Doctor Ke Pass Pahucha.
Santa - Doctor Saab, Maine Raat Ek Gasti Ke Sath Sex Kiya Tha.
Doctor - Achcha! to Fir?
Santa - Ab Mujhe Peshab Nahi Aa Raha...
Doctor Ne Checkup kiya aurBola -
Doctor - Saale Bhosdi Ke....
....Peshab Karne Se Pehle Condom To Utar Leta..
Friday, 21 June 2013
Nangi tar aur nangi larki
Ek Din Santa Ne Banta Se Pucha :-
Santa - Ladki aur Bijli ki Taar Me Kya Farq Hota Hai?
Banta - Yaar Koi Jyada Farq Nahi Hota,
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Agar Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain!!!
Santa - Ladki aur Bijli ki Taar Me Kya Farq Hota Hai?
Banta - Yaar Koi Jyada Farq Nahi Hota,
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Agar Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain!!!
Dhasu budhia
Ek Din Ek Budha Romantic Mood Mein Apni Biwi Se Bola
"Darling, Main Tumhare Liye Aasmaan Se Taare TodLaunga"
Budhi: "Benchod, Muh Se Mungfuli To Todi Nahi Jaati Aur Gaa.Nd Se
Akhrot Todne Ke Sapne Dekh Raha Hai"
"Darling, Main Tumhare Liye Aasmaan Se Taare TodLaunga"
Budhi: "Benchod, Muh Se Mungfuli To Todi Nahi Jaati Aur Gaa.Nd Se
Akhrot Todne Ke Sapne Dekh Raha Hai"
Active passive
Teachr-active se pasive me badlo"bache jb sunsan jagho pe jatehai to
hadso ko janm dete hai"
studt-sunsan jagho pe hue hadse hi bacho ko janm dete hai
hadso ko janm dete hai"
studt-sunsan jagho pe hue hadse hi bacho ko janm dete hai
Holla
Teach to New Student - Whts ur Name ?
Studen - Sir My Name is HOLLA!
Teacher - Whts type of this?
Student - Sir i was born on Holli so my parents take my Name "HOLLA".
Teacher - Shukar hai tu "Lohdi" k din Paida Nahi hua tha!!
Studen - Sir My Name is HOLLA!
Teacher - Whts type of this?
Student - Sir i was born on Holli so my parents take my Name "HOLLA".
Teacher - Shukar hai tu "Lohdi" k din Paida Nahi hua tha!!
Monday, 17 June 2013
Small things
Some Times Small
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Things in Life Hurts a Lot.......
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If You Do Not Agree
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With Me..........
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TRY TO "SIT" ON A PIN.
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Things in Life Hurts a Lot.......
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If You Do Not Agree
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With Me..........
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TRY TO "SIT" ON A PIN.
Dhasu billi
Ladki Ki T-Shirt Par Bane Billi (Cat) Ke Design ko Ek Ladka Badi Der
Se Ghoor Raha Tha.
Ladki Ne Poochha : Kabhi Billi Nahi Dekhi Kya?
Ladka : Billi To Dekhi Hai,
Par
Dudh ki Rakhwali Karte Hue Pehli Baar Dekh Raha hooo...
Se Ghoor Raha Tha.
Ladki Ne Poochha : Kabhi Billi Nahi Dekhi Kya?
Ladka : Billi To Dekhi Hai,
Par
Dudh ki Rakhwali Karte Hue Pehli Baar Dekh Raha hooo...
Saturday, 15 June 2013
Thursday, 13 June 2013
Bechari patni
Santa Apni Biwi Ki Gand (Back Side) Maar Raha Tha.
Us Ki Biwi Chillaane Lag Gayi:"Aah, Aah Mar Gayi Main Nikalo Bada Dard
Ho Raha Hai"
Santa Gusse Se Bola Bola: "Aye Chalaak Na Ban! Mujko Pata Hai Kitna
Dard Hota Hai"
Us Ki Biwi Chillaane Lag Gayi:"Aah, Aah Mar Gayi Main Nikalo Bada Dard
Ho Raha Hai"
Santa Gusse Se Bola Bola: "Aye Chalaak Na Ban! Mujko Pata Hai Kitna
Dard Hota Hai"
Shayari
Yu Hum Ko Satane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Gand Meri Jalane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Jo Nahi Tha Ishq To Keh DiaHota,
Apni Maa Chudane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Maloom Tha Agar Ye Khwab Toot Jayega,
Neend Me Aa Kar ChudwaneKi Zarurat Kya Thi?
Maan Lu Agar Ye Ek Tarfa Mohabbat Thi,
Maa Ki Lodi Mujhe Dekh K Muskurane Ki Jarurat Kya Thi!!
Gand Meri Jalane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Jo Nahi Tha Ishq To Keh DiaHota,
Apni Maa Chudane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Maloom Tha Agar Ye Khwab Toot Jayega,
Neend Me Aa Kar ChudwaneKi Zarurat Kya Thi?
Maan Lu Agar Ye Ek Tarfa Mohabbat Thi,
Maa Ki Lodi Mujhe Dekh K Muskurane Ki Jarurat Kya Thi!!
Kam kisi ka naam kisi ka
Ek 80 Saal Ka Aadmi Doctor Se Kehta Hai: "Doctor Sahab Meri 20 Saal Ki
Patni Pregnent Ho GayiHai."
Toh Doctor BolaEk Kahani Suno
Ek Shikari Shikar Per JaaneKi Zaldi Mein Apni Bandook Ki Jagah Chatri Le Gaya.
Jungle Mein Chalte Chalte Uske Samne Ek Sher Aa Jata Hai
Shikari Chatri Ka Handle Kheench Ker Fire Kerta Hai Aur Sher Mer Jata Hai
80 Saal Ka Aadmi Doctor Se Kehata Hai: "Yeh Kaise Ho Sakta Hai Aise
Sher Thodi Na Mar Jaate Hain"
Doctor Kehta Hai: "ExcatlyAb Samjhe Kuch"
Patni Pregnent Ho GayiHai."
Toh Doctor BolaEk Kahani Suno
Ek Shikari Shikar Per JaaneKi Zaldi Mein Apni Bandook Ki Jagah Chatri Le Gaya.
Jungle Mein Chalte Chalte Uske Samne Ek Sher Aa Jata Hai
Shikari Chatri Ka Handle Kheench Ker Fire Kerta Hai Aur Sher Mer Jata Hai
80 Saal Ka Aadmi Doctor Se Kehata Hai: "Yeh Kaise Ho Sakta Hai Aise
Sher Thodi Na Mar Jaate Hain"
Doctor Kehta Hai: "ExcatlyAb Samjhe Kuch"
Wednesday, 12 June 2013
Teen dost
There were three fast friends...a Pandit, a Baniya and a Jaat. Teenon
ke sab kuchh saath saath hi hua -- schooling, college,yahan tak ki
shaadi bhi -- halanki hui alag alag ladkiyon se. Teenon honeymoon bhi
saath saath hi gaye...aur ekhi hotel main stay karenge. So, hotel
main pahunchane ke baad, teenon apne rooms main jaane se pahle mile
aur decide kiya ki subah kobreakfast table par ek doosre ko batayenge
ki kisne kitni baar kiya. Par samasya thi ki apni patniyon ke saamne
kaise is bare main baat karenge. Par teenon bahut smart the, jaldi hi
solution bhi dhoondh liya, kijo jitne baar bread par butter lagayega
to uska matlab hoga ki usneutni baar sex kiya. Aur teenon apne apne
room main chale gaye.
Subah teenon mile...breakfast table par...teenon ki wives bhi thi.To
pahle Pandit ne apni bread uthai, aur butter lagaya...ekbaar...do
baar... aur wapas plate mainrakh di. Phir Baniye ne apni bread
uthai... butter lagaya... ek baar... do baar... phir bread ko palta...
phir butter lagaya... ek ... do. Matlab, do baar donon taraf se
thoka... Ab baari thi Jaat ki. Usne apni bread uthai...butter
lagaya... ek ... do baar ... use palta ... ek baar butter lagaya ...
do baar ... Phir Pandit ki bread uthai... donon taraf butter lagaya
aur rakh di ... phir baniye kibread uthai ... aur use bhi donon taraf
butter laga diya ...
Aur dosti khatam..
ke sab kuchh saath saath hi hua -- schooling, college,yahan tak ki
shaadi bhi -- halanki hui alag alag ladkiyon se. Teenon honeymoon bhi
saath saath hi gaye...aur ekhi hotel main stay karenge. So, hotel
main pahunchane ke baad, teenon apne rooms main jaane se pahle mile
aur decide kiya ki subah kobreakfast table par ek doosre ko batayenge
ki kisne kitni baar kiya. Par samasya thi ki apni patniyon ke saamne
kaise is bare main baat karenge. Par teenon bahut smart the, jaldi hi
solution bhi dhoondh liya, kijo jitne baar bread par butter lagayega
to uska matlab hoga ki usneutni baar sex kiya. Aur teenon apne apne
room main chale gaye.
Subah teenon mile...breakfast table par...teenon ki wives bhi thi.To
pahle Pandit ne apni bread uthai, aur butter lagaya...ekbaar...do
baar... aur wapas plate mainrakh di. Phir Baniye ne apni bread
uthai... butter lagaya... ek baar... do baar... phir bread ko palta...
phir butter lagaya... ek ... do. Matlab, do baar donon taraf se
thoka... Ab baari thi Jaat ki. Usne apni bread uthai...butter
lagaya... ek ... do baar ... use palta ... ek baar butter lagaya ...
do baar ... Phir Pandit ki bread uthai... donon taraf butter lagaya
aur rakh di ... phir baniye kibread uthai ... aur use bhi donon taraf
butter laga diya ...
Aur dosti khatam..
Paramist
A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, 'Hello,
could yougive me condom. I'm going tomy girlfriends for dinner and I
think I may be in with a chance!'
The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out;
he returns and says, 'Give me another condom because mygirlfriend's
sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative
manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there
too..'
The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he
turns back and says, 'Go on, giveme one more condom because my
girlfriend's mumis still pretty cute and whenshe sees me she always
makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is
expecting me tomake a move!
During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his
left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad
gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, 'Dear Lord,
bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us'. A minute later
the boy is still praying;
'Thank you Lord for your kindness.'
Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keepinghis head down.
The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even
more surprised than the others.
She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, 'I didn'tknow you were
so religious.' The boy replies, 'I didn't know your dad was a
pharmacist!
could yougive me condom. I'm going tomy girlfriends for dinner and I
think I may be in with a chance!'
The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out;
he returns and says, 'Give me another condom because mygirlfriend's
sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative
manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there
too..'
The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he
turns back and says, 'Go on, giveme one more condom because my
girlfriend's mumis still pretty cute and whenshe sees me she always
makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is
expecting me tomake a move!
During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his
left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad
gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, 'Dear Lord,
bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us'. A minute later
the boy is still praying;
'Thank you Lord for your kindness.'
Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keepinghis head down.
The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even
more surprised than the others.
She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, 'I didn'tknow you were
so religious.' The boy replies, 'I didn't know your dad was a
pharmacist!
..T..arr...
Usne utari saree
fir aayi peticoat ki bari
blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
ziyadah excited mat ho yaar
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yeh tha kapray sukhane kataar ….!
fir aayi peticoat ki bari
blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
ziyadah excited mat ho yaar
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yeh tha kapray sukhane kataar ….!
Monday, 10 June 2013
Santa rocks
Santa Caught by Taliban.
Talibani (To Santa) - Islam Kabul Karo, Warna Gala Kaat diya jayega.
Santa - Yaar ye v ajeeb dharam hai, Kabul karo to Lulli Kat dete ho,
na karo to Gardan!!
Talibani (To Santa) - Islam Kabul Karo, Warna Gala Kaat diya jayega.
Santa - Yaar ye v ajeeb dharam hai, Kabul karo to Lulli Kat dete ho,
na karo to Gardan!!
Army
A lady made an advertisment in newspaper,-
"I want a man to be my partner..
Conditions 3..
1. He will not beat me,
2. He will not run away.
3 and most important.- He will have to satistfy me in beds,whenever i want.
10 inch will be good enough"
After some hour her door bell rang.
She opened door and saw a man on wheelchair who doesnt even have hands
and forearms..
Lady- who are u?
Man- I was in army and lost my hands and one leg in battle..
Anyways i am here regarding your advertisement..
Lady- How can you fit inmy conditions?
Man- Look i dont have hands and forearms, so ican't beat you...
I am not on my legs, so i can't run away..
Lady- Ok, but what about the 3rd condition?How wil u satistfy me? Do u
have 10 inch big?
Man- What the hell with women's mind, can't you women use ur brain.
What the fuck you think,"That HOW THAT DOOR BELL RANG.."
"I want a man to be my partner..
Conditions 3..
1. He will not beat me,
2. He will not run away.
3 and most important.- He will have to satistfy me in beds,whenever i want.
10 inch will be good enough"
After some hour her door bell rang.
She opened door and saw a man on wheelchair who doesnt even have hands
and forearms..
Lady- who are u?
Man- I was in army and lost my hands and one leg in battle..
Anyways i am here regarding your advertisement..
Lady- How can you fit inmy conditions?
Man- Look i dont have hands and forearms, so ican't beat you...
I am not on my legs, so i can't run away..
Lady- Ok, but what about the 3rd condition?How wil u satistfy me? Do u
have 10 inch big?
Man- What the hell with women's mind, can't you women use ur brain.
What the fuck you think,"That HOW THAT DOOR BELL RANG.."
Gandu sardar
....aur Sardar Ji Fas Gaye
Sardar aur uski wife chalti car me hi chudaai ke mud me aa gaye.. Apne
apne kapde utaareaur chalti gaadi me sex shuru kar dia..
Achanak car ka accidentho gaya.. Sardar buri tarah se crushed gaadi me
fas gya, uski wife bahar nikal gayi,
sardar bola- preeto, ja bhag kar kahi se help keliye kisi ko bula kar laa.
Prito- aise hi nangi kaise jau?
Sardar (sochne ke baad)- Ek kaam kar, meri pagdi Choot pe laga le, aur
jute gaand pe laga le.
Prito ne aisa hi kiya aur waha se chali gayi, ek mechanic shop tak
pahuchi aur ek admi ko boli…
Prito- Bhai saab plz meri help karo, Sardar ji bahut buri tarah se
fase huye hain, unhe nikalne me meri help kijiye..wo buri tarah fase
hain…
Worker prito ke aage lagi pagdi and piche jutedekh kar bola -
Worker- Madam wo to dikh hi raha hai kitni buri tarah fase hue
hain,nikaalne me help to kar dunga, par pehle ye to batao ye pura
andar ghuse kaise ???....
Sardar aur uski wife chalti car me hi chudaai ke mud me aa gaye.. Apne
apne kapde utaareaur chalti gaadi me sex shuru kar dia..
Achanak car ka accidentho gaya.. Sardar buri tarah se crushed gaadi me
fas gya, uski wife bahar nikal gayi,
sardar bola- preeto, ja bhag kar kahi se help keliye kisi ko bula kar laa.
Prito- aise hi nangi kaise jau?
Sardar (sochne ke baad)- Ek kaam kar, meri pagdi Choot pe laga le, aur
jute gaand pe laga le.
Prito ne aisa hi kiya aur waha se chali gayi, ek mechanic shop tak
pahuchi aur ek admi ko boli…
Prito- Bhai saab plz meri help karo, Sardar ji bahut buri tarah se
fase huye hain, unhe nikalne me meri help kijiye..wo buri tarah fase
hain…
Worker prito ke aage lagi pagdi and piche jutedekh kar bola -
Worker- Madam wo to dikh hi raha hai kitni buri tarah fase hue
hain,nikaalne me help to kar dunga, par pehle ye to batao ye pura
andar ghuse kaise ???....
Non-veg joke
Gand Me Ungli????
Jab Santa Fauj Mein ThaTo Uso Sharat Laganey Ki Bahut Buri Aadat Thi
Aur Sabhi Us Se PreshanRehte The.
Ek Din Santa Major Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola -
Santa : "Sir, Yeh Meri Aakhiri Sharat Hai, Aur Woh Main Aapke Sath
Lagana Chahta Hun."
Major Khishi- Khushi Raji Ho Gaya, aur Bola-
Major : "Bolo, Kya Sharat Hai?"
Santa : "Apko Bwaseer Hai".
Major : Main Sharat Lagata Hun Ke Nahi Hai".
Santa : "Main Ungli Daal Kar Check Karuga".
Major Khushi-Khushi Maan Gaya Aur Dono Me5,000/- Rs. Ki Sharat Lag Gayi.
Santa Ne Major Ki"GAAND ME UNGLI" Daal Di.
Tabhi Bahar Se Jor Jor Se Rone Ki Aawaz Aane Lagi.
Major Pant Pehan Kar Bahar Gaya Aur Poocha-
Major : "Kya Hua?"
Staff : "Sir, Isne Humse 50,000/- Rs. Ki Sharat Lagai Thi Ki Major Ki
Gaand Me Ungli Daal Ke Dikhaunga!"
Jab Santa Fauj Mein ThaTo Uso Sharat Laganey Ki Bahut Buri Aadat Thi
Aur Sabhi Us Se PreshanRehte The.
Ek Din Santa Major Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola -
Santa : "Sir, Yeh Meri Aakhiri Sharat Hai, Aur Woh Main Aapke Sath
Lagana Chahta Hun."
Major Khishi- Khushi Raji Ho Gaya, aur Bola-
Major : "Bolo, Kya Sharat Hai?"
Santa : "Apko Bwaseer Hai".
Major : Main Sharat Lagata Hun Ke Nahi Hai".
Santa : "Main Ungli Daal Kar Check Karuga".
Major Khushi-Khushi Maan Gaya Aur Dono Me5,000/- Rs. Ki Sharat Lag Gayi.
Santa Ne Major Ki"GAAND ME UNGLI" Daal Di.
Tabhi Bahar Se Jor Jor Se Rone Ki Aawaz Aane Lagi.
Major Pant Pehan Kar Bahar Gaya Aur Poocha-
Major : "Kya Hua?"
Staff : "Sir, Isne Humse 50,000/- Rs. Ki Sharat Lagai Thi Ki Major Ki
Gaand Me Ungli Daal Ke Dikhaunga!"
Monday, 3 June 2013
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